man that takes up social space, and is completely comfortable. She wants a man that will compliment her sexy butt, and maybe grab it every now and again.

But then you come along. You care confident, carry yourself well, and most importantly always add value to the situation. Things are cool, you don't talk down to people, and you genuinely enjoy people's company. You are comfortable with yourself, and with your desires as a man.

Do you realize how rare this makes you? Do you realize how little effort you have to actually exert when you are coming from this mindset?

That's the problem most guys have. It's certainly the problem I've had. And that is thinking you need to do something to get the girl's attention, and to hold it. I can tell you from experience that you can just be in a girl's space, and say not more than 2 words to her, and still have her be intensely attracted to you.

The confidence to walk up to a pretty girl, or sit across from her at the table, and just be chill being yourself, unattached to any kind of outcome and just enjoying the "isness" of the moment, is an experience that girl RARELY has.

And so if you embody this you will have success, without trying to have it. Super crazy but true.

A girl left my place about an hour and a half ago. I met her two Saturdays ago, talked to her a little bit - very little bit - on the dance floor, and then last second decision at the end of the night decided to get her number. I barely talked to her.

After a chill phone message I left, she texts me a couple days later. I immediately suggest we grab drinks. One quick phone call, and two days later we are grabbing drinks on a Thursday night.

I was so chill during drinks - because I saw her and wasn't immediately attached to outcome. I was walking up to her and literally said to myself, well let's just have fun and enjoy the evening. Not sure I want to hook up with her.

Well the night ended with me walking back to my place, and she just tags along - not even invite in status - she just wanted to come in. I would have been perfectly content if she had headed home after drinks. I made no effort. Twenty minutes later we're wrestling in my bed. Two days later we have sex for the first time.

I didn't do anything. I was just myself. Completely comfortable, expressing all my thoughts, and feelings, and general outlook. I briefly touched on past relationships, at some point you do have to establish that you've been with girls and that you're not just platonically interested, otherwise she will assume you just want to be friends. But absent that, we just talked about whatever came to mind. No judgment, not even real flirting, no "trying" to get with her.

So my point is that - yes, you see girls with douchebags, and assholes, etc. Fine. But they would jump at the chance to be in the presence of a guy who is full-on chill with himself, and comfortable with adding value to any given situation. I can't stress how key that is. If you're not comfortable adding value to the moment, start working on it - on a moment-to-moment basis - right now. 6 months down the line you will be immensely thankful.

I am not fully "there". I can feel I have crossed many thresholds in this identity-level change about which we speak. I still have an occasional lapse where I worry about people having fun and not being able to keep up. This is, I found, a limiting belief of mine that I have largely course-corrected. But now you know what I think? I just roll with it. Well, then this will be interesting. I still stick to my guns - and that is be in the moment, enjoy it as much as possible, and be nice to people. And people are just hard-wired to respond well to this!

So please - get in touch with your lowest self, and then start listening to your highest self - and do this all the time. Drop any filters of ego that prevent you from seeing how things really are. Ultimately, you see people. Not girls to fuck or dudes to out-alpha. Everyone has a story. Everyone is coming from somewhere. Just show them love, and the world will return the favor.

I should have bought David D's "77 Laws Of Not Dying Of Cancer" program.